Doin’ it right.

I watched a miniseries recently called Pillars of the Earth. It’s up on Netflix for those interested, and I’m sure it’s for sale places. I didn’t go in knowing there would be rape scenes, but for once, that didn’t bother me, because they handled it right. That is to say, it was horrible and I fucking hated it, but it didn’t get forgotten. It didn’t go unnoticed or get swept under the rug. Not just in regards to justice; justice is all well and good, but the part that always gets me is the easy solving and the lack of repercussions on the victim.

There’s a scene where the survivor is with someone she truly does love, absolutely, and he reaches for her and puts his hand on her thigh. The scene flashes not to a grotesque titillation fest but to just her face, in pain, and she shoves him away and cusses him out, tells him never to touch her again.

Yes, eventually, she works through it. She tells him, and they get past it, and they do get to a better place with intimacy. The important part to me is that they gave even a nod, even a passing notice to the fact that gee, it isn’t just over for the survivor of the attack. It isn’t just healed magically by the wondrous power of true love. I hate that. The lack of dialogue on the subject of how survivors react makes me insane, because it informs an entire generation of men and women that hey your spouse/lover/etc was raped but they’ll fall magically into your arms because LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

It has more than fucked my relationships in the past. I have had no few men who just couldn’t get around the notion that I had flashbacks or just didn’t want to be touched or that the very notion of obligating me to sex instantly makes me hate them so much I want to kill them.

So yeah. Trigger warnings on Pillars of the Earth, but it’s still good. I’d watch it again.

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~ by oniongirl13 on May 4, 2011.

3 Responses to “Doin’ it right.”

  1. I can’t watch a rape scene, so I won’t watch it, but it’s good to know that once in a while a work of fiction gets it right. Thanks.

    I hate mottos with “love” in it. “Love” is the greatest excuse for the shittiest behaviours. Like cheating on one’s children’s mother. What can she do about it ? He loved her, he doesn’t anymore ; his vows mean nothing more now that love has magically gone. And he feels entitled to make her and their children suffer, because “it’s not me, it’s love, baby, what can I do about it ?”

    Lots of people behave like assholes with their partners, and never ask themselves why their relationships fail, since they’ve been told to “just be themselves and wait for the One who will stand their bullshit.

    Men who want sex instantly, they can get it from a sex worker, if they’re in such a hurry. If they don’t want to shell the dough, and hope that dating will do the job, then it’s high time they learn that it won’t.

    There are people out there who will respect you, who will wait for you to make the moves on them, even without knowing what you went through. Stay strong.

  2. Hi, I have been a reader since 2010, but too shy to comment. Anyway, would that series happen to be based on a book? When I was eleven I read a book of the same name, and one of the main characters, a princess, was raped by a fucked up prince, and she goes on the run and then marries another fucked up guy who also rapes her, and then she ends up with the “witch”s” son and I guess she loves him and he’s a good guy.

    • Glad to have you commenting!

      I do not think it was based on that book, as the man she marries is a decent one. This is based on a historical fiction story, and the girl wasn’t a princess, just a lord’s daughter.

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